August 8, 2012

freedom

I remember waking up on the first day of summer break.
I stayed snuggled up in my bed as the sun crept through my window. 
I just wanted to let the last ten months of hard work and my life sink in before facing the next seventy-six days of freedom.

Freedom always is just that...free
The summer was free to be what it chose to be.
Free to be the best summer of my life, the worst, the hardest, the most remarkable, even life-changing.

I usually know what I am going to face each summer.
The previous few always have the same faces. 
The same nightly routines with those faces.
But since life happens, I knew this summer would not be what previous summers had been.
In all honesty, even if you're in summer, it can still be winter.
Life might not be fruitful and fragrant at the moment.

Knowing all that --- I got out of bed --- I embraced the freedom.
I trusted God to take me through it.

It turned out to be all those things.
The best, the worst, the hardest, remarkable, life-changing.

I read a quote last night that struck me quite significantly.
How true that is for me. For this summer. For life.
He has had so much to say.

I was sitting outside Starbucks with my best friend Lauren just the other day.
We both had remarks about these last three months that we just walked through.
For both of us, though the journey this summer has been significantly challenging we both had the same thing to say about it.
I wouldn't trade this past summer for anything.
Though there is pain, there is growth.
There is beauty from ashes.
Endurance gained. Character strengthened. Hope resilient.

As I lay here in my bed again on this my last day of summer break.
The clouds keeping the sun at bay from lightening my room.
I look ahead to the next ten months of my life and wonder what God might have in store.
I might still be in a season of winter.
I might feel as if I've been snowed-in and rained-out.
But God clearly has my attention.
I refuse to spend my time wanting to get out of winter because God created it for a reason.

As much as we may want to spend our whole lives in  a season of summer, if we want to grow we just can't.
We need the abeyance of winter, the rejuvenation of spring and the transformation of autumn.

2 comments:

  1. I love this. Especially the last two lines. This is beautiful, Jen.

    ReplyDelete